Too Cute

After coming across a cartoon picture of a beaver, Anna showed it me and said, "Mommy, is this Justin Beaver?"

Christmas is almost here!

I've been very anxious lately about several things. The new baby coming, Ron's busy wrestling schedule, if we'll be attacked again by head lice and I've also been spotting lightly. I'm having a hard time dealing with it all and I think going from working full-time to not at all has also been a big change for me to handle. So, I'm going to list here things I am thankful for and try to focus on those rather than my fears, concerns and worries.

Here goes:

My husband who is so patient, understanding and hard working for me. He always listens to my concerns and tries his best to help me deal with them.

My beautiful, healthy daughter. Anna you make me so proud. Reading already in kindergarten, a perfect teacher-parent conference and report card. And how caring you truly are. Noone else would cry that we flushed baby lice eggs down the toilet and didn't give them a chance to live.

My family and Ron's family. They patiently answer the phone when I call obsessively worrying about things or if I need a hand watching Anna.

The signs my mom gives me that although she's in heaven, she's very much aware of my struggles down here and isn't leaving me all alone. In my times of great fear and anxiety she is amazing at sending me a sign I'm not alone. I love you Mom and know its not by coincidence that these things happen.

For God, who is always willing to give me another chance to rely on Him more. For all of his mercies he gives me every day. For all the blessings he has bestowed upon me. I need to focus on these more. Lord, please help me to do so.

When It Rains It Pours....

Yesterday I began spotting very lightly. I immediately called the dr and they said to rest, drink water and keep an eye on it. It continued today although a little lighter so the dr said to come on in for an ultra-sound. Wouldn't you know that as soon as I go to make the appointment, Anna throws up all over the floor :( My poor girl must have eaten something that did not agree with her. Fortuntately she only got sick four more times and is doing better now. No diarrhea so I'm hoping this is not the bug??? She's tired of watching tv and wants to play so I'm hoping that she's turning the corner.

My dad came over to watch her (please pray he doesn't get it) so I could run out to my ultra-sound. Well, everything is fine. The baby looks great and there is no reason for concern. The technician said this happens all the time, especially to smaller framed women. I'm not even dialated which is good because I'm only 35 weeks and I had convinced myself this was the beginning of labor. Praise God for the good news. Please Lord, just keep the rest of us healthy now. Please keep us germ free.

Wonderful Parent-Teacher Conference

I had the pleasure this morning of attending Anna's first parent-teacher conference. We had gotten her report card last week which was fabulous so I really wasn't worried. Her teacher is very pleased. She said the work Anna is doing is above and beyond what would typically be expected of a kindergartner in December. She said it was quite obvious the amount of time and effort we had put into teaching Anna about the letter names, sounds and how to read. She is kind and a good friend as well as a good listener. We are just so happy to hear that! Some of the testing we are seeing at home hasn't cropped up at school (Thank you God!) so Ron and I will keep working on that -Me a little harder because I can easily get myself into a power struggle with her. Many times I feel like another five year old arguing with her rather than being the Mommy! To celebrate, I took her out to McDonalds and then for a manicure. I had told her in August that if she got a good report card from her teacher, that would be her treat. It was a nice morning out. Now we're home with the stove loaded -it was only 10 degrees this morning! I'm seeing homeade peanut butter cookies with hot chocolate in my future :)

Jesus' Birthday Party and Organizing

Anna and I have begun attending MOPS at our church again -Mothers of Preschoolers. Today was a birthday party for Jesus in honor of Christmas. We both had fun getting out with children and Mommies. Anna won a prize and had fun decorating cookies with gobs of frosting and sprinkles.

After that, she went to kindergarten and I spent some more time in the basement cleaning and organizing the dozen rubbermaid boxes that house every ounce of clothing she ever wore. I only have two boxes mind you and Ron -well, he has none! I don't want to know what this baby is however if it is a boy, I'm really wasting my time organizing a million outfits into 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-12 months etc. I guess I've begun nesting too because every cabinet in the house is getting cleaned out and the garbagemen will have a full load to pick up tomorrow! I can't stand clutter and now that seems to be in overdrive.

I find it hard though going through Anna's clothes because not only do they remind me of how much she has grown, but so many of them my mom bought for her and I can remember the day she gave each one to us. How do you dispose of those??? Fortunately, we don't have to do that yet. I plan on keeping several of them for Anna when she becomes a Mommy.

Our Trip to NYC

Well, we have been lice free for three days now- Please pray we stay that way. It is terrible! Anna will get her daily mayonaisse head wrap when she gets home from school again today.

On a happier note, we took her to NYC for the first time. We saw the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center, St Patrick's and all of the beautiful shop windows decorated for the holidays. Here was her favorite part:

More

I HATE LICE! I have decided to put my child in a bubble for the rest of her life.

A Real Mother...

I am not sure one becomes a "real" mother until they have rid their child of head lice. I will spare you the terrible, horrible, gross, disgusting details but I will say I would not wish it on my worst enemy and that I think I'd rather have the stomachbug then deal with head lice on my offspring while being 8 months pregnant.

Anna's Kindergarten Thanksgiving Feast

Today Anna had her Thanksgiving Feast in school. It looks like they had fun. I can't wait to hear all about it! And by the way, I'm officially a stay at home mom again. No more work for me!

Daisies

Anna and her friend Grace had their second Daisies meeting on Friday evening. We met for a nice dinner together and then headed over to the meeting. The girls had fun playing games together and learning about being a Daisy. Ron said he can't wait for cookie sale time!

Last Couple of Days

I only have a week and a half left of work till my last day. I'm excited but also a little nervous. Ronnie starts coaching wrestling this evening so my day will be a little long with him gone from 6:45am till 6:15 pm. Weekends too :( I'm keeping myself busy though. Today I made zuchinni bread from scratch with chocolate chips and pineapple. It smells heavenly baking in the oven. Anna will be my taste-tester when she gets home from school. I've also begun going through baby clothes in the basement and weeding out the newborn outfits that are gender neutral to wash and put away. I love the smell of Dreft. It brought back such memories today.

What Comes Next?

Anna's question lately has been what holiday comes next? Holidays due seem to come right after another this time of year and now we're getting ready for Thanksgiving. Anna's school had a Harvest Festival a week ago and the children were encouraged to turn their pumpkin into their favorite animal for a prize. A friend shared this idea with us. Happy Turkey Day!

Godzilla

My mom used to tell me that once I hit adolescence, I went to bed one night Cinderella and woke up Godzilla. Well, I'm saddened to say that I think Anna has already begun. My sweet little girl is in such turmoil now. She loves kindergarten but "misses me" so much she has to keep a little family picture with her to look at when she's feeling sad. I get hugs and kisses galore as the bus pulls up. When she gets off though, she's another being altogether. I think she's learning from the children at school a bit of an attitude. Thank God she knows well enough not to use it with her teacher but when she comes home, Mommy is the perfect one to test it out on. This has been going on for the last couple of weeks. She's doing the eye rolling, hands on her hips and whole tone of voice thing. I know its normal at this age but its so hard. Last night I was in tears after she went to bed. It makes me upset to see how many negative things she's learning from her peers -because she's only in kindergarten. I pray God that today is a better day. Give me patience and wisdom on how to handle this. And let this phase pass quickly!

Some October Highlights

I Can't Tolerate a Glucose Tolerance Test!

Last week I had to have my 27 week 1 hour glucose tolerance test to see if I have developed gestational diabetes. The nurse told me to go to the lab to have this done. She said I'd have to drink a sugary solution, wait at the lab for an hour and then have my glucose level taken. She said not to fast but if the lab asked if I had, say yes. So, I went along as directed. Well, on Friday, I get a phonecall that I failed and that I have to come back now for the 3 hour test and that I need to fast from midninght the night before. Well, first of all, I'm at the uncomfortable point in my pregnancy and the idea of sitting in a doctor's office for three hours is unbearable to me -doing it on an empty stomach that hasn't had a bit of food for the last 15 hours??? That is pure torture! And let me tell you that it was. I got there at 8:15 this morning and they did not take me until 8:45. The combination of lack of food, being pregnant and then having to gulp down this sugary drink made me nauseous, lightheaded and very uncomfortable. Did I mention that on my way out the door to the appointment, Anna's second fish in two days died? And then we no sooner get in the car and the tire inflation light comes on signalling that one of the tires is slowly going flat. I prayed that God would get me to the appointment on time so that I would not have to go through this all over again. Praise God I made it and the test is over. I should have the results in the next few days. Just a word to any pregnant ladies reading this however, both technicians at the lab today told me I absolutely should have fasted for the first one hour test -they said I surely would have passed.

Hatching Out

I had to laugh today when one of my Pre-K students told me about his cousin that is pregnant. He told me that the baby is going to "hatch out" tomorrow morning. Kids do say the funniest things!

TGIF!

Yeah it's Friday! In a few hours my family will be home for the weekend! I have pizza dough risng (hopefully) in our bread machine. I'll have the house all cleaned for them and then we can relax and spend time together. On tap for this weekend... Ron is going to fix a leak I found in the basement. He says its the bathtub drain and should only take an hour -we all know what that means! Tomorrow night we're off to Anna's art auction at CCC. She's so excited to have her artwork in a real artshow. Sunday morning we teach Anna's class at Sunday school and then Ron is going on a last kayak expedition with my dad and brother before wrestling season kicks in and he's busy every weekend :( Anna and I will have to plan something girly for our special time together. Oh, I can't wait for the weekend to begin!

Happy Monday

Well another week is underway. Anna had a rough start at drop-off time this morning at CCCK and then again on the way to kindergarten. Nothing much, just a little tearful and needing her Mommy. I snuck in her "Zero the Hero" Rice-Krispie/Cheerio treats that I made last night. Hopefully that will cheer her up. I can't wait to hear all about it! I made homeade roasted tomato sauce today and will boil up some pasta and put garlic bread in the oven to go with it. Maybe a nice salad too. Dessert is homeade apple crisp. A nice comfort meal on an early Fall, rainy day. All I need now is my family to come home and share it with me.

Zero the Hero

Anna had her first homework assignment last night. She enjoyed completing it and had no clue that in a matter of just a few years, she'll feel very differently about it. I have a homework assignment too apparently. In Anna's kindergarten class they count each day that they have been in school. In "honor" of the special math concept that happens every 10th day, they celebrate "Zero the Hero". A special visitor comes dressed up in a cape and they sing, count and find all of the 0's all over the room. I will be the special "snack provider". I have to secretively come up with a zero-shaped or round-shaped snack for the class to eat that day. I drop it off at the main office and all of the children think that "Zero the Hero" brought it in for them. Being that this is my first homework assignment, I'd like to make a good impression. Any suggestions? I'm willing to go all out on this one.

Turning the Page

So beginning today, Anna will be going to school everyday. Last week was orientation and the kindergarten was split into thirds so the children and the teacher could really "get to know one another". Anna was assigned one of those three days to go in. Today however, the entire group begins going regularly. Its an adjusment for me. First I'm used to working full-time and now I'm home by 12:30. Also, Anna has pretty much been with me 24/7 since she was born. Ron works so hard to provide for us and usually leaves the house at 6:45 and doesn't get home till 6:00 at night. When wrestling season is going on, he's gone even later working every Saturday and Sunday too. The summer is a little more laid back but he works several weekends then too and picks up a couple of nights. So aside from the occasional playdate or babysitting from Grandpa, Anna and I are together most of our days. And I love that, she's my little best friend. Being home now without her is harder than I expected. I'm keeping myself busy decorating for Fall, changing summer linens to warmer ones and getting more involved in cooking than usual. But finding things to do is kind of work for me right now rather than my saying "Look at that, where did the day go???". I'm sure I'll get into a routine eventually -that's what Ron says. I think what makes it hard too is that I always knew in the back of my mind that when the second baby came around, my mom would be retired and we'd do all sorts of things together. And that's not happening now. While I have grieved a lot over the past year and three months, I did have a full-time job to kind of keep me in check and now, having all this time on my hands has given me more time to think which isn't always so good. I find myself wanting to ask her what she did with her time when I began kindergarten. Her relationship with me as a child was very similar to the one I have with Anna -inseparable. So I know she would've had many of the same feelings. She too was expecting at that time. I just think it would be neat to have that conversation with her.

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Cool 60 degree temperatures, football on tv in the background, pot of chili on the stove, corn muffins in the oven....Fall is here early!

Kindergarten Here We Come!

Well, we did it, and I say we, because it was very tough to let her go. Anna did great though. She woke up early and remembered today was her big day. No tears, no anxiety (she doesn't take after me) just excitement and happiness. She's been there now for almost an hour and a half. I can't wait to go pick her up and hear all about it!

Getting Ready...

Her backpack is filled, hanging by the door, her snack is packed complete with a note from Mommy, her outfit is all picked out, we even chose what shoes we're wearing because tomorrow is ....

THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN!!!

Sunday Morning Pictures...

Please meet the newest member of our family....




Anna is going to be a....

Labor Day Weekend

What a gorgeous day! Hurricane Earl spared us and has left behind deep blue skies, cooler temperatures and low humidity. Its gorgeous! Chloe (whose had another disk flare-up) has been enjoying the deck while on crate rest and I took advantage of the cooler weather to come outside and cut back some of the overgrown and dying flowers. Our gardent this year did quite well despite the hottest summer on record and a caretaker whose morning sickness did not allow her to care for it all that much. We still have tons of grape tomotoes, carrots to dig up, lettuce and spinach. We didn't get that much zuchinni this year but I've had enough cucumber salad to last me all winter long! Our potatoes did well despite it was our first time growing them. Oh and we still have green peppers too that are coming in. I'm looking forward to crisp days though and a chance to turn on the oven. I saw a Barefoot Contessa the other day where she made chicken picatta and buttermilk mashed potatoes. For dessert she baked pear and apple crisp. Anna and I were salivating while we watched it so we picked up all of the ingredients to make it on Monday evening before we all head back to reality and say goodbye to the summer.

New Chapter...

Well today is September 1st and that means I have switched from full time as a pre-k teacher/director to parttime. It is very strange being home by 12:30. I'm excited though as this will certainly give me more time. Time to cook more, organize a little more, knit more and oh yes, get ready for the baby. I guess I haven't shared on our blog yet but Ron, Anna and I are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the newest little Whitehead due to arrive around January 26th. Morning sickness has finally left and was just as brutal as it was with Anna. What luck to have picked the hottest summer on record to not only work at a daycamp but be pregnant as well! I survived though and am really looking forward the weather turning cooler and crisp. Anna begins kindergarten next week and we are all very excited. I tear up regularly thinking about it but I am truly so excited and happy for her. She is definately ready and will just grow so much over this next year. Stay tuned for picures of her on her first day!

Boo Boos Happen

I guess she gets the trait of clumsiness frome the Dorgan side :(

I've been trying to be a little more active lately because I know its good for my health and I'm hoping it will help with my mental health as well. I enjoy walking so I'm trying to go for a nice walk each day. Its hard with Anna because she doesn't appreciate it as much as I do. If I wait until Ron gets home its usually dark and I don't like walking by myself after the sunsets. We live in a really pretty area so its not uncommon to see deer, turkeys, gopers and such. We've even seen a coyote walking down our street! If I'm still walking in the Fall, I'll have to rethink how I'm going to accomplish it each day with the sun rising late and setting so early. I've considered getting a manual treadmill because I hear they are small and easier to store. We'll see if this lasts that long though!

I apologize for the lack of blogs in the past year or so. With my mom's passing away I just didn't have any interest in writing about our lives here in Brewster. Its been a hard 9 months. I'm in a bereavement group at my church and they say grieving is a journey you take. There is no way around it -just through it. It does feel like a journey. I can remember the shock of it in the beginning, it was almost denial. Now it is just this constant hole in my heart, this deep feeling of loss. Sometimes I feel anger. My brother describes it best I think, he says "We've been robbed" and that is how I feel. She was taken from us much too soon. I know she's in heaven though. I'm not quite sure if she can watch over us, sometimes I wonder how she could be in heaven and be happy if she could watch over us and see the sadness and pain we hold in our hearts for her. I've had many signs though that she's in heaven. Signs that make me know without a doubt that she is in heaven and is happy. I know she is waiting for us "by the gate" as we always used to say. I miss you Mom.