Turning the Page

So beginning today, Anna will be going to school everyday. Last week was orientation and the kindergarten was split into thirds so the children and the teacher could really "get to know one another". Anna was assigned one of those three days to go in. Today however, the entire group begins going regularly. Its an adjusment for me. First I'm used to working full-time and now I'm home by 12:30. Also, Anna has pretty much been with me 24/7 since she was born. Ron works so hard to provide for us and usually leaves the house at 6:45 and doesn't get home till 6:00 at night. When wrestling season is going on, he's gone even later working every Saturday and Sunday too. The summer is a little more laid back but he works several weekends then too and picks up a couple of nights. So aside from the occasional playdate or babysitting from Grandpa, Anna and I are together most of our days. And I love that, she's my little best friend. Being home now without her is harder than I expected. I'm keeping myself busy decorating for Fall, changing summer linens to warmer ones and getting more involved in cooking than usual. But finding things to do is kind of work for me right now rather than my saying "Look at that, where did the day go???". I'm sure I'll get into a routine eventually -that's what Ron says. I think what makes it hard too is that I always knew in the back of my mind that when the second baby came around, my mom would be retired and we'd do all sorts of things together. And that's not happening now. While I have grieved a lot over the past year and three months, I did have a full-time job to kind of keep me in check and now, having all this time on my hands has given me more time to think which isn't always so good. I find myself wanting to ask her what she did with her time when I began kindergarten. Her relationship with me as a child was very similar to the one I have with Anna -inseparable. So I know she would've had many of the same feelings. She too was expecting at that time. I just think it would be neat to have that conversation with her.